Preamble
The Vibee: Hands Dirty Artist: Milk & Bone
Welcome, this is my first attempt at writing one of these ‘blogs’ Lol. I tend to write how I think, speak and generally view data and information. If you know me, you know how sarcastic and melancholy I can be. I express myself heavily through music, lyrics, when I don’t have the words, music speaks on my behalf. If you’ve followed me on Twitter, Bluesky, or anything really, since I was a kid I’ve always shared music to sort of communicate my inner-world to the outside world.
I suppose that’s why I do it – hoping others out there connect w/ me through music, it’s like a radar, if what I’m sharing is showing up as a blip, there’s a solid chance we’ll connect. You’re my people. Hell, if you’re reading this, you’re likely my people.
✨ Fun fact: ✨ I have synesthesia, what that means is that I can see, taste, feel, music in a way that I suppose is unique to me. That being said, I wanted to use Milk & Bone as my first example because it illicit such strong imagery and feelings for me.
✨ Fun fact(2): ✨ I’m on the spectrum. I can’t use my words well, I have a hard time communicating verbally believe it or not.. It’s taken a lot of work for me to get where I am today, so this is the other reason I’m writing this blog.
Well, here we go. As always, if you want to chat, hit me up on Bluesky (0xpsilocyber) or Mastodon (teck923).
So why this song?
Milk & Bone is an artist that hit my Spotify algo a couple months ago, I tend to listen to a lot of dreamy pop, synthwave, emo-inspired music. This track is such a gorgeous representation of all the above, there’s something about how it renders (pinks, blacks, purples) 🩷, 🖤, 💜, into my visual cortex.
The lyrics, they remind me of a former paramour. Someone who was close enough to me that, when they disappeared from my life, felt like a there was a wound at the center of my universe. A pull so strong, it’s enveloped galaxies, transforming into a burning hot star. I love this person, a love that transcends reality, a love I only have shared with few others. The type of love that goes beyond human conventions, that deep connection you feel, when it’s as if, another soul has recognized and become aligned with yours.
This person was certainly not the love of my life to be clear. But they were part of my universe, a big part, a guiding star that helped me find my path. That helped me unlock parts of me that we’re restricted under lock, and this person unlocked some of those deep rooted traumas and fears.
I suppose that’s why I’m writing this, this is what music does to me, lyrics, sound, these are the images playing in my visual cortex when the music flows.
So what about the vibe?
🧠 Introspective, 💃 sensual, 💀 death, ❤️ bliss, ☀️ peace
I’m not an expert by any means on instrumentation, but the way the synths mix and meld with the vocals brings to me a sense of mourning, loving, bliss. Sounds pretty contradictory right? But that’s why I love it. To me the track encapsulates what it means to be at peace with a lost love, yet, still accepting and longing for that person. Two things can be true, it is possible to move on, while still warmly remembering the feelings/memories/imagery associated.
Wanna get my hands dirty. Please tell me.. We’ll meet again.
I need your lips on me, constantly. ‘Til my heart bends.
Yeah, you can lie to me, maneuver me, drive me insane.
Tell me you’ll live for me, Die with me, smallest of deaths.
To me, the lyrics evoke the feelings of wantingness, but the music, the instrumentation conveys peace and acceptance. Almost as if the mind and the emotions are at odds with one another. As if the music itself evokes the true self, hidden underneath all the layers of ego, flesh, blood. The thoughts, those are always just thoughts, but the feelings underneath the layers, that’s real.
Feeling so high.. little nightmare in perfect disguise
That person introduced me to many substances, and honestly? I’m grateful. Psychedelics changed my life for the better, cannabis has helped me with back pain, I used to be such a prick and hard-lined stance regarding substance usage. Now? I am an advocate for harm-reduction and responsible use of substances, usage with purpose. Another wonderful lesson I took from this individual, and to this day, I have helped so many on their journeys. It makes me so happy when folks reach out to me about safely using substances for mental health. And I wouldn’t be in this position I feel if I had never met this individual.
However, from an emotional perspective, this line hits hard, while I have safe and responsible relationship with substances now, when I started, I was irresponsible – as many are when they discover their freedom ha. – But to this day, there is no greater high than to be held by a loved one. To share in such memories, to create nightmares of longing, of disappearance
Overall?
When I listen to this song, my heart grows tight, my chest pulls into my center. When I close my eyes, I see golden hues marked by pink and purple evanescent lights and plumes. I feel heartbreak, I see the image of a beautiful raven emerging from a golden black, green, blue egg. When I close my eyes and let the music overtake me, the egg is held betwixt a crown and skeletal black withered hand. My internal world, is one made of contradictions, of blacks and pinks, sweet and horrific. I found my peace long ago between these states of mind, my inner-world is one made of death and love.
I feel the egg, the raven, represents to me that this is life, we live, we grow, we die, and then we repeat the process both in death and in life. We are ever-growing, to even experience the act of love and loss is a gift in and of itself. And that is what this song does for me, it reminds me, that while there may be pain, I’m happy I get to feel that pain. I’m happy I get to have those memories. I’m happy to be on this path I’m on. And for that person? Well, I wish them nothing but the best and I pray and hope the best, always. 🖤 💜
✨ Fun fact(3): ✨ The Owl in Twin Peaks is a representation of life between two worlds, of the known and the unknown. The inner eye and outer eye.